Back - Sem 2 :)

24/10 (Mon)

Just gotta the feeling to blog again, don't scold me for leaving here so long... Recently my life was quite a mess with arguments and tears, emotion was quite unstable. So if I wrote something here, sure I'll write out something very unhappy like my last post. But now I'm quite okay already, don't worry as I don't like people or maybe friends to worry about me. So those unhappy moments better just kept in my mind set okay?? ;)

Last weekend I missed out something due to daring by you with anger but I gained another thing as well. Haizz, but losing the chance to have fun with them is definitely my own fault... In turn, I got the chance to back Ipoh and go for Mr. Lai's food party with KC and SW on Saturday. And don't forget I went to blood-donation last week :P And last week I got my 1st presentation this sem, it was a disaster D: I just dislike public speaking, hopefully the marks is still okay ==

Today evening rained like cats and dogs in Kampar, my bicycle over night in the campus for the 2nd or 3rd times I think =3= It was still consider as a "okay" day until just now, my besty said she don't think I love you that much?! Erghh, it just give me the feelings like all those tears I shed is useless... A little frustrated when I see this appearing in her chat box with this shit line but maybe she's right... Haizz, whatever is it. I just don't know what to say when the topic is you. Many things happened and that's all :C

Just hope that tomorrow will be a better day I guess..

WS ;)

Good-bye!

2/10 (Sun)

I closed my laptop at 4am, you want to say that I online fb till 5am. Hahaha, that time I'm very mad searching the message that contain your password in our fb chat, you said I can sacrifice for fb but not for you?! Yes, no reason for that action, yesterday till now already make me out of my mind. All this made me unlike a girl right?! You honestly think I could handle all this don't you?? :)) The effect of every action I did is in my expectation. You said I'm ruining everything in you, yes you're always right but what about my heart?! It can't be mend already, what are you going to do next to make it more worse???

The anger is still there, maybe I'll regret for what happened last night but not right now. It's way better that you unfriend me, since you don't wanna do so, let me do it using your account :)) So you don't have to keep so in touch with me. Don't have to get so worry and angry about me. And soon you will forget about me as you don't need a friend like this. I don't qualify to be your gf then why will I be qualified to be your friend?!

ws D':

........

12/9 (Mon)

Yea, before you end the chat tonight you said you're going to block me. Thanks to myself but I think I removed you as friend before you did that *Whatever == Maybe the most correct thing you ever did in life is, DUMP me and/or don't keep in touch with me... This action you made just showed me that how mean I'm to you, how not satisfy you are with me, etc... So tell me, the conclusion is I'm the fault we'll end up like this isn't it?? All this's just so great :')

I'll always remember this's the way you want me back... What happened before, during and after my examination week I don't want to say. It all will happen because of me, thank you! Well about my grades thingy, I can only say: I really don't expect myself to score nice :C Maybe I deserved all this, hahaha. Before that, you finally "willingly" gave me the time I want to think and decide with no more forcing. What's with the rush I don't understand?!

I've tried to change for you but what I get?! I still sense disappointment from you. It feels like I din't pay any effort at all in getting back you. Never mind, you've already blocked me. In your last fb chat with me, you said you're giving me eternal time to consider, means I don't have to consider at all. Terrific! Move on like you always wanted to, I'm just an obstacle in your life. Have already stopped you not intently for a few times, so now I won't and shouldn't be the reason you stay here like an idiot for me anymore.

Thanks for everything you gifted to me, the time, the presents, those worries and more. I don't think you'll wanna see this either, hahahaa. I don't suit you as I'm undeserved, thanks for being that tolerable to a mean girl like me. Being with you is not wrong, kinda the matter of time?! Or maybe I shouldn't agree to be with you at the 1st place, lols :')

P/S: My dark circles and eye bags are getting more and more serious, haizzz :S

WS ;C

:(

1/9 (Thurs)

I felt like crying but I can't, I'm tired of hiding my sad feelings but I really can't do anything but to pretend that I'm okay. I'm currently in my Ipoh home so that's why. Had the last outing this afternoon before I have my exam next week, not that enjoyable because mood was spoiled *thanks to him :S And the Cantonese movie I watched with them was funny, kinda likey. Wonder when can I see them again especially those who are studying in other places, just felt sorry that they have to see me in trouble and moody like this.

I wonder why he can't wait till both of our emotion is more stable then settle our problem?! I really don't want to end like this and I'm afraid that I might regret. I need time freaking badly but he just insist on ending this thingy with me. Okay, just be it. I knew there's nothing else I can do to make him change his mind anymore. I really have no idea why my digi number so fast out of credit, he don't believe. Fine :( I just knew I'm so gonna get scold again this month when the coming phone bill arrived. I always hope I'm using prepaid but I'm not...

I'm freaking sad and angry that time after I viewed the fb message he sent me.. So just admit it: I'm mean, selfish and suck. All this make me a bad gf wanting her bf to wait and wait and wait like an idiot. Go ahead, please hate me!! Frankly, I really don't know what I really wanted at this moment. Why he has to be that rush?! Fine, it's not important anymore. He's mad and he said no more friend from now on. He wished it that way so I granted him. Okay, so I removed him from my fb friend list..

How can I forget that I'm freaking mad just now, I need to control my tears as I'm at my dining hall online-ing. Haizz, I just hope I won't regret even though I know I would some how. This's what I deserved, finally a "happy" the end. Great! A simple yet loving relationship that I once wished to have, the hope in me is gone. I'm so so so moody, I need to start studying though the study mood's not there. I just got strong feel that my final exam might get screw some how :(

WS :'(

The end...

30/8 (Tues)

I need to write it out no matter what!! Don't blame me for ignoring you as you should know I would treat you like this. Don't you think the condition's awkward?! From bf downgrade to friend, you expect me to treat you like how I treat my friends?! You're too naive, I need time freaking badly to accept the changes in our relationship lo!! I already blocked you from viewing my wall, I won't remove you from my friend list. I still can handle it... Ishh, it's just so not my day. FML!! :S

Haizzz, things between us dint run smooth, we quarrel like once a week. You're the 1st guy that made me cried that much. You always gave me the feel like I'm a bad gf, or maybe I am :'( I'm laying my trust on you but why I don't feel that you're doing the same on me?? You always know I need private time for myself. You knew I can't accept your phone call that publicly when I'm in my Ipoh home. You cared and you said it will be fine soon, but why you sounds like you're accepting it unwillingly??

You failed to lie me, so just admit it: I can't satisfy your needs!! You know I can't always text you, even I got another sim card, but it's not that convenient. Erghh, I really dislike the phone bill issue!! This month it's over again, and my mum's mumbling about that again == Fine, there won't be any chance my phone bill will exceed that much again. Never :@ Or maybe I'm too greedy, I'm like expecting you to understand my condition. But you dint, even you did, you're still not happy about what I did that made you worried.

Got an outing with my buddies this afternoon and they woke me up some how: you're so not my type after all. They're indeed questioned by my choice, as they understand me too much!! *My ideal bf is always the SMZ type :O That time I'm really doubting should I voice out to let it calm 1st and let us figure out whether we should continue or not. If you're around, I'll really feel uncomfortable when I'm with my friends. I really need to have a girly talk with them...

I knew you're mad, you kept on calling me to know my stuff, then finally I received your text telling me your request to be friends 'cause you can't stand with me anymore. Which means you don't want me anymore, you don't love me anymore, all those things that we experience together ain't important to you anymore. Okay, great!! I totally respect your choice. I gave you mostly everything and this's the ending I got. You're abandoning me :(( Well, I'm glad that I dint cry that time and I still can firm myself up to go to work :X

I don't think I got the courage to reject them as I already promise them to come to work on the Merdeka public holiday because of you. I felt unproductive, kinda useless and my legs are arching but luckily I din't break anything. Can I suddenly tell them I'm sick and I can't come to help them the next day?? I really need time, I'm really not okay but I need to pretend that I'm okay. That's me, I just don't like the feel of making people worry about me.

Whatever it's, it's over for the last time. I'm reluctant that we have to end this way that quickly but I have to. Yea, I'm crying for you for the last time also. Maybe this is the better way for the both of us... And maybe being with me it's a huge mistake that you have ever made!! Please leave me alone, I'm alright. I deserved nothing....

P/S: Gossh, I really need to study hard for my final already. I can feel the pressure already. Stop being lackadaisical ahh, I need my study mood now!!! :C

WS :'(

Finally!!

8/8 (Mon)

Yea, finally I found the good time and nice mood for blogging :) I think I've abandoned here for a few weeks, so sorry :S I already change back to my old playlist, but that time the line so freaking suck and I'm a bit tired so I dint update any post... Last few weeks been quite busy with tests, assignments, presentations and maintaining something, erghhh ==

Just hope the mark I get for my tests ain't that terrible, so I don't have to repeat any fail subjects in semester 4. Now left 1 presentation only, gotta make it works!! :D Then final exam's around the corner, have to do some revision as soon as possible. I feel like I'm getting more and more lazy, 'cause last week I've skipped 2 classes already. Haizzz, fine.. No matter what, I must be hard working for my revision, yea I'll C:

About the maintaining something, it's about the relationship thingy. Which I wanna keep it low-profile, hahaa :D It can't be true if I said there's no problem between me and him. I know there are moments that I might doubt, wondering is he the one suitable for me?? Well, the best way I can think of is to let time decide and tell me the answer anyway. Now just enjoy the time being together is what important for now ;)

P/S: Nothing in you change, except the part that you'll ignore me some how. You felt that I'm busy with my uni-life?! Well, the fact's I won't ignore you no matter how busy I'm. *to the previous you

WS :)

Not studying :X

19/7 (Tue)

Finally my 1st ever presentation in my university life is over!! I'm wearing Indian clothes, lols == Photos taken were not at my phone, so I'm waiting my friends to upload now :D The damn Sociology test today is over as well, I'm really glad I know how to answer as we got a moderate-okay paper~ :) Zombie look now, don't ask me why.. 'Cause this few days my attention is disturbed by my personal thingy :X

Actually I really felt great about the 1st time experience on last Friday night but what happened that night eventually did made some of us get hurt. Haizz, HY is starting to wonder maybe we shouldn't carry out that outing at the 1st place. Fine, this won't stop me from knowing the answer also == No doubts, it really freaked me up. How can I accept something like that in a short time???

Why all this have to happen while I'm having my mid-term test this week.. It's freaking stressful okay?? Lucky I changed my strategy, if not my Sociology test sure will GG :S I know something I said made you felt hurt, I know I'm mean. But frankly I'm not even 18, to me having a bf doesn't mean I've to be with that guy forever and marry that guy in future. To get into those stages need a lot of love, trust, patience and everything significant in a relationship...

Fine, maybe in the end.. Like what I sensed, I'll just screw up everything... ILY but I'm sorry that facing this awkward situation really make me have this kind of feelings :(

WS :C

Busy like HELL @@

13/7 (Wed)

Actually I felt like blogging on Monday, but I was quite busy this few days. Sociology assignment is making my head big. No offence but I really got bad feeling about our group presentation, 'cause till now we haven't even do that power point slide. I really dislike last minute work but what to do when you don't even know whether those stuff you're doing is right or wrong. Next week need to present and then got 3 tests awaiting me, just pray hard for me la.....

Radio play script we finally finished yesterday but still need to modify, then tonight gotta print it out and let our tutor check. Let's hope that it's interesting enough, we could have do it last week when we're more free lo == Thanks to someone for providing me an idea but sadly I don't think it will work :S Exam's tomorrow evening. Goshh, I'm so unprepared. SHIT!! :(

I really doubted my choice once, expecting that I'll regret soon. It's strange that I found myself don't wanna wake up from this dream you got me into :) I know I'm kinda mean sometimes but I'm willing to change. Understanding each other will take time, it always do. Something in me hope you're the one though the future's just so unsure.

To someone: Please don't exceed the limit I can endure, I dare you.. You'll regret what I'll do to you...

WS :X

My weekend ;)

2/7 (Sat)

Yea, the answer I got was quite unexpected. My sense was half right half wrong :S I really treat both of them as friends, but I don't know why in the end it turned out to be... Erghh, can I just skip that?? Thanks to those deary friends who know part of this fishy thingy, thanks for understanding me. I heart it ♥ This thingy just made me wanna update my blog more, 3rd time in the same week already!! LOLs XD

I'll write something here when I got the mood to do so. Maybe I'm in a trouble, or I can't seem to figure out something. I could sense things easily *sometimes I'll just predict the expected outcomes inside me :P Or maybe I'm moody, helpless, etc.. But believe me, after writing it out, surely I'm okay. It's my life, life ain't easy but I gotta live it through no matter how. I know mostly I'm more to a negative person, but this's the real side of me you're seeing.  

The answer I think I'll just keep to myself, as this issue had come to an end... Let's just say I won't ignore the innocent person. This issue let me realise the power of jealousy, so freaking strong. *Erghh, I know you're seeing. Now the person I'm awkward to face is YOU!!! :S I'm juat kinda glad that I'm not working there anymore, if not the weird situation there... I don't even dare to imagine what would happen @@

Today's the best weekend I ever had, shopping >< Girls will only complaint their closets are not big enough, not the clothes they owned are too many. LOL, so true.. XD Sales are everywhere, and I'm always more to branded, as to me those stuffs are more lasting. Thanks to my dear ATM mum which is now free on weekends!!! She's the one paying for my clothings. I still need to become slimmer lo, I wanna buy some shorts and pants :P

Then tonight, movie time: Transformer: Dark of the Moon, about 2 hours and 30 minutes+ I'm in the cinema. Freaking cold inside :@ Something's wrong about the projector thingy with the hidden and REAL reason, we couldn't watch the movie in 3D so they refund the tickets for us. But we got the chance to enjoy free movie, popcorn and drinks, hahahaa :D Can I say it's lucky?! Though I don't really likey the ending, but the scene of robot fighting is really worthy :)

WS :)

Truth...?!

29/6 (Wed)

Yes, it's a midnight post again. I'm not studying my previous lecture stuff again. And I'm in front of my laptop and chatting with PL again. She's been so nice to hear my stories, glad she's there. If not, I'll be so freaking emo == Well, 'cause I just ended my Maths test. Screwed the freaking issue that spoiled my mood to study yesterday and my 4-5 marks... Ishh, fine.. It's my own fault, can't blame no one...

I don't care who's lying to me anyway. It's okay, though I still can't accept but I can feel that my emotion's more stable already :) I don't care whether I'm thinking too much or what, the TRUTH ain't that important anymore. The answer would be a YES or NO only, that simple. And I ignored his call just now. Sorry, but I really don't feel like talking to him/ reply to his wall post or anything related to him, after this whole incident. I feel awkward to face him already. Maybe after a week or more 1st, I just need to ignore him at this moment....

Back to something that eventually bright up my day, that's the day I await the most in the whole week except Friday. I superb likey my Wednesday here in Kampar, 'cause that day had been our weekly outing with ZH, lols :D He's the one who fetch us out for dinner that night. Which means I don't have to cycle out for dinner on that particular day, wheee X) Today we had KFC, though I don't really like the fried chicken there. Too oily for me @@ But the cheesy wedges, still is my all-time favourite there.

Seriously I need sunblock badly!!! I don't wanna become that tan, I'm kinda afraid that I can't accept my more and more uneven skin tone :X

WS :)

Shocked :X

28/6 (Tues)

I'm not paying full attention to my study again, and a small Maths test is on tomorrow. Ishhh, I'm in front of my laptop as usual. Looking at my lecture and tutorial notes while I online and gaming == 'Cause my mind's influenced by a small but shocked news I knew just now :S Ohh my, I wish it isn't true and SERIOUSLY I really can't accept it lo :X

I sensed it would happen after a casual outing but I was shocked that it really did. OMG, I know all this dint happen in a sudden lo please. Erghh, I'm so disappointed and so damn freaked out by it :( Though I'm sure I don't have much feel on that fellow anymore. But to me, it's like a hilarious joke that happens to me, like always. Every time I confirm that person can be my new aim, but then that guy will eventually do something.. Stuff that will make me wonder, moody, wonder again then finally disappointed with a decision inside my heart, that's give up.

I really dislike this sort of feel. It's suck, I've to accept this fact, control my feeling+emotion well and the hardest part: act like "That's just fine to me, I'm okay with it". But my condition really is still not good, but I've say okay to them and to myself. Like nothing big or shall I say "hurtful" happen before?! So in the end, I'm the one who encounter heartache, lucky me huhh?? No one will pity me at all, no one :S

From last year till now, I had this kind of feel for more than twice or more. I'm locking my heart up, yes I am and I should. I had enough already, I need nothing but time to recover. Maybe lonely's best with me, like it did in the last few years. Well, I'm glad that my sense's still correct when it's about other people *except me == I'm so right about saying that thing about him. 'Cause the thing I suspect's currently in the process already, which really freak me out. But I still wish them the best. I'm just doing my part as a friend, that's all...

P/S: Something's wrong, he's denying that he's in a relationship. And I'm wondering who's lying to me now, it's just so hard to guess.

WS :')

It's Week 4 already :X

23/6 (Thurs)

Finally I feel like updating my blog, or shall I say I at last found the time to do so :P Please don't blame me, university life is tough you know XD And this time I got lots of stuffs to share again, as it's has been about 1 week I din't update... I've been thinking what I should write here since the last post, hahhahaa, well here start my new post :)

Last week after that freaking moody post, I'm okay already. So don't worry about me, I can handle it. Yea, I believe I could :D Ignore the schooling part, and let me skip to my weekends. I likey my last weekends, 'cause I gotta the opportunity to meet my friends!!! Saturday went to parade to hang out and yumcha with my working friends, I miss them so much. Though something unexpected happened, well I'm glad it ended quite well though. Awaiting to meet them soon ><

Then Sunday, it's the annually Star walk. I dint register for it as I dint get the chance to borrow the form from any of my friends to photocopy it, and when I realised the deadline's just a few days, I'm in Kampar studying already. Well, what made me change my mind to attend that walk is obviously my dear PY. I miss chatting with her like before. So that day I woke up early, met her up and walked with her. Same like last year, but this year we really talked non-stop XD Wonder when we'll meet again, and next time I want JC to be there with us. The next outing surely need to wait :S

While walking, met some familiar faces. I've said HI to them la, of course ;) When we finished the walk, we headed to the place for FOC food and drinks. Whee, met a lot of close friends there as well. Have a short conversation with them, but those 2 persons which I wanna meet badly- WL and SM dint attend lo I think. YL, fatty, ZZ and some other ex-classmates, I dint see them too == The best part about that day is I get a certificate for participating though I dint register, lols X)

Ohh gosh, I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw you with a DSLR on Sunday the at the starting line. Duhh I don't mind whether you saw me in the crowd too, I just notice that our fate's quite strong!! Every time I sense that I won't see you again, but the sense turned out to be wrong which make me wanna get over you so soon. I know you can capture nice photos, keep practising. I predict you will become famous with the potential you have 1 day :)

About the new aim thingy I mentioned last post, I think I met a kinda cute guy to let me do so :X But I just don't feel like he's the one for me, I'm way too normal and a bit plump compare to my Form 5 look. So I think "I won't fall for him" is what I wanna tell myself la :@ I'm still trying hard to lose some weight, but I think I'm facing a really huge problem already... When there's nothing much to do in Kampar except eat, sleep, study, cycle, online and yumcha+gossip ==

WS C:

FML!!! :'(

14/6 (Tues)

I felt suck and tired. I'm so freaking lazy, my Maths tutorial works should be drawn on graph but I just simply draw it on my paper. And now I felt like heading to bed as my class for tomorrow morning's 8am. Really FTW!!! Just now I got the time to do my work but I just keep on doing my stuff, listening to songs, fb-ing... Erghh, I don't feel like doing anything but EMO, WTF is wrong with me?!

I know maybe is something about you, I think my emotion's quite unstable recently when the topic comes to you. I still care what you did to me, 'cause I really hate the way you treat me!! This feeling's awkward as I don't know what I can do to solve this issue... This thingy keeps making me thought a lot, set me free from it. I just can't stand it anymore.

Damn I feel so helpless :( Erghh, is there a solution?? I always tell myself: A new aim. But I think I'm lack of confidence when come to that, which due to some reasons I don't know how to tell. Haizz, I just got strong feel that I'll remain S&A in Kampar. So no bf, no transport, no NOTHING == And moreover, I think mostly is my own silly personal problem. I knew it!!

I started to sense the stress on me as mid-term test's just a few more weeks to go, so freaking heavy.... And I don't wanna disappoint my parents on the 1st semester, NO WAY I would do that to them!! So I need to do stop using the laptop that often and start to do my revision starting tomorrow onwards @@ Good luck to myself la, I guess :S

WS :C

Not so LUCKY...

10/6 (Fri)

I think someone will be wondering why I write a post so fast again right?! Hahahaa == 'Cause today, which I rated it as a "not-so-lucky" day... My bicycle disappoints me again, when I started to use it. It made my jeans, my handbag and even shirt dirty. 'Cause it have been to the bicycle shop for service, it's that kind of grease dirty la~ So I wasted a piece of cloth to clean it though, which made my hands so damn dirty that day. I cut my nails short because of that ==

Then what happened today was 1 of the paddle of my bicycle fell off, really FTW!!! I was on my way to attend my class la aduhh :'( So I dirtied my hands again to try to fix it back but I failed to. Erghh, so gotta pull my bicycle to a place near the a gate which got a jaga guarding there, locked it there and headed to my lecture hall. Asked for help from the jaga but he couldn't do anything about it though.

I'm so glad Huiyi was there with me, I wanna thank her so much!! And thanks for accompany me when we're heading home from school after class :) Ohh yaa, I skip something important: My lecturer dismissed us early. I don't even need to help those who asked me to help them sign. It's their choices to skip I know, but don't they know they're missing something?? :S And I worried ah Bao the most, 'cause... Fine, I don't wanna talk about it :@

I got 20 minutes+ to pull my bicycle back my Kampar home. Which I reached there by walking + pulling my bicycle at about 6pm+ I'm surprised to know that, PL's bicycle still haven't fix. Her bicycle's chain is down this morning, and this cause her to board a bus to school. The bicycle guy who said he can come on night, suddenly said it's his off today. Well when my dad arrived there, he saved the day. He fixed both of our bicycle, but mine he still need to make the screw tighter X) Love him much ❤

P/S: I can accept it and yes I'll, I think what I'm expecting already is the answer. It's disappointing as always once it's related to you, no wonder I would heartlessly force myself to end this thingy with you. Don't say I'm cruel. 'Cause don't you care about me anymore?! Shouldn't be I don't think so, but should be I don't mind at all C:

WS :V

Lazy :@

9/6 (Thursday)

It's a midnight post again, and yes I'm so damn lazy. Lazy to do revision, playing fb every time I switch on my laptop. Lazy to renew my post, lazy to do this and that... Still that "nanti nanti" attitude :S Erghh, I'm not motivated enough!!! I'm starting to worry about the assignments and examination already. I'm tired easily, and I always eat my meals at different time, which is so not good. Would this affect my weight or something?! I'm still trying to lose my weight, which's still yet to lose ==

I need to have some food in stomach before I cycle, to avoid fainting or falling down while I cycle back home. I wonder when will I get used to cycling everyday @@ To me, cycling drains energy easily == Today after my 9am class, I stayed at school due to a group discussion thingy. The last class is 2pm till 4pm, I was yawning in the class. Ohh no, my legs muscles ached already when I cycled home. I'm so glad that I can lay on my comfortable bed, as I'm a little bit afraid my energy can't bring me home.

Then tonight, PL's class ended at 6pm. *Which would be same for me tomorrow, shit timetable :( In the end, due to laziness. We decided not to cycle out for our dinner, and lucky we did that choice. 'Cause I seriously think my legs need some rest. So we ended up calling delivery, well it tasted good anyway X) Freaking tired everyday. Haizzz, when I can adapt the environment here??? :[

P/S: Something I saw made me think that my prediction is wrong again, F*CK :( I nearly can't accept it but I have to. Goshh, I keep on wondering: Don't you still treat me as friend?? I'm so mad at you right now :'(

WS :C

I'm TANNED :(

4/6 (Sat)

I'm freaking sad about my skin tone right now, normal lotion's not that helpful in this stage already. Erghh, I need SUNBLOCK and more suitable clothes!!! 1 of my jeans is too big for me, makes me looks fat. I'm just moderate la, and I'm trying to lose weight now :) I want long pants and long shelves shirts!! But my mum isn't free to bring me go for shopping, due to her works. Like tonight.. me with my brother and father went to watch X-men 1st class, she's staying home doing her stuff.

Ohh yaa, yesterday my dad came Kampar to fetch me home. He reached there quite late as he told me there's a serious jamming near Simpang Pulai there. Well, actually is that shit lecturer which is so "KIND" to let us left the lecture hall about 25 minutes early. Which allows me to reach my Kampar home before 6pm. I'm so so so impressed: He taught us nothing in that so-called 1 hour lesson. He just asked who's not clear in which part. He kept on looking at his watch and even taking out his phone to send text or something. =3=

Then he said he needed to leave early and explained that he's in a hurry to fetch someone, which I think is his important so-and-so la~  Lucky he's just a replacement lecturer and he's not my tutor for my Economics class. If not, I think I'll announce myself as death in that subject :@ Bao's just same lecture class with me only. But Huiyi which I knew her in my primary school BM tuition, is same group with me!! Hehee, I got accompany in my every class 'cause my timetable is same with hers :)

I still haven't really know much new friends there, just started to really chat with a few new faces in my Basic English class. Try to recognise their faces starting from now already, LOLs :P I've noticed that she's paying attention to my present in class as well, if I'm not wrong. And I'm glad that I've chosen to add her up in fb. She's same group with me, like what I've expected. Next Monday gotta try to have a simple conversation with her before class starts, try not to be that awkward I guess?!

WS ;)

Freaking tired :(

31/5 (Tues)

Erghh, why must the weather here be so damn HOT!! Every time I reach the place for bicycle parking, I felt like I've melted by the sun @@ Not that I hate sweating, but it make me feel uncomfortable and a bit stink. Walking from a block to another is also making me sweat. *Bought a pefume to overcome that, hopefully it do work =3=  My timetable's suck, I don't understand why the gap between 2 classes is so freaking big!!! The most terrible is FRIDAY, my last class is 5pm-6pm, but then I got class from 10am-11am. Erghh, really FML :'(

The distance from my hostel to the university needs about 15 minutes+ if by cycling. *I started to hate the lake I have to pass by everyday already >< To avoid making myself more tiring from wasting energy, to cycle home and then back to school due to similar "wonderful" situation stated above, I decided to stay school to wait for my another class. == Terrific, besides having lunch in the canteen... I think I need to have a nap or do some revision in the heaven-like library on next week onwards :(

Met her and I think she's same stream with me, 'cause I've already met her in all my lecture class so far.. Make me thought about you this few days :( I know I should've let you out of my mind. Erghh, feeling a bit awkward. Wondering should I go and know her?? Well, I mean I need NEW friends from my foundation too!! Old friends I knew in Ipoh ain't enough at all :S

WS =.=

New life......

26/5 (Thurs)

Orientation's boring :( And this few day waking up early then cycle to school, back to home and to the place for dinner made me so damn exhausted!!! My legs muscles are aching already :S The road to my university is long and some paths are a bit slant, every time I reach school.... My whole body's sweating already and I felt like melting @@ I'm not that into exercising I know == Lucky 1 of my friend is good enough to let me know where to board the bus, thank him so much!!! :))

So today me and my friends boarded the bus to go to the school, it's F.O.C in the orientation week. But I dint regret cycling to school either, I must slowly suit myself into this life. My university's huge, got a lot of blocks. I think I'll lose some weight soon with those walking and cycling there. Well, met a few famous ex-poilam students which I knew there *Is this the correct words to describe them?? XD I was glad that they recognise me, I need friends in a new surroundings :PP

Though I felt quite not good skipping those talks and activities for orientation, but I just feel tired and wanna have more sleep!! In the end, me and PL decided not to go to school tomorrow. Ohh yaa, she's my room mate now :) I really hope things like argument don't happen between us. But maybe she's leaving me next year. This's quite not sure yet but I gotta be prepared to live on my own as well. And frankly, I'm not very satisfied with my room lo. Erghh, feel like changing my room immediately but I can't... Need to do some survey 1st....

I miss home badly, I miss online-ing till midnight like last time badly... I'm blogging at midnight again == I know I need a very healthy life style here in my Kampar home, so that I got enough energy for cycling :S I miss the once and only you too, maybe a bit more than him. Maybe is because the "no aim" thing he said, which means my sense's so freaking wrong. I think I won't believe my sense about myself any more :( I don't want things like that happen to me next time, but I just realised 1 fact about myself> I do fall for someone cute easily....

WS :'(

A bit nervous....

16/5 (Mon)

At 1st, my mum left me and my brother at the government clinic in Greentown which is just beside the general hospital. The purpose's to get my medical report done, my brother said maybe the school has too many people studying there. The authorities scared there's infection of virus or something among students. So when it's finally my turn, the man who sat at the registration counter there asked me 24th of May boleh ahh?? Goshh, I need to wait 1 week for that check up and that day I need to be attend in my school to get myself register lehh ==

So I asked him can arrange at Friday or weekends?? As I won't be around Ipoh to come to the clinic. And he said NO, I forgot places like this don't operate on these days. Ishhh, so fed up la =3= Lucky he's helpful enough to let me know there's another place which I can do the check up as well, he gave us a flyer with package to choose and little map on it. After I called and told my mum about that, I needed to go there as it's my only solution to get it done. So we spent don't know how many minutes by foot to reach the next destination, Kinta Medical Centre. The weather nowadays is so freaking hot, I felt like melting #-#

The package I needed for my medical report costs me rm45, and I can do the urine test and X-ray today. No need to book time, hehehe :) Physical check up is tomorrow and so is the results. And I need to see the dentist tomorrow for check up as well, scare got decayed tooth now :S Most of my study stuff are well prepared, except some haven't even pack. In my mind: Life there with lots of cycling would definitely make my skin tan and make my weight drop to normal, which means there'll be a more healthy me?? Maybe XD 'Cause I think I'm a bit pale right now~

And the main point of the title of this post> Nervous. Well about the course I choose is mostly, the homework and assignment thing is partly. I'm studying science in my secondary school but now I'm heading for Foundation in Arts then Advertising. Ermm, wondering is it what I wanted to be as my career?? Really hope my decision now will guarantee me a good future :) The homework and assignment thing I'll get the chance to solve it soon. Now I just hope I'll get acceptable or maybe "okay-good" result in my exam, am I asking too much?? ==

I was so angry at somebody last night, I think I'm wrong but he's not that right after all. It's fact that I've experienced that thing before then so what?? Well guess I'm expecting too much from him, expecting him to understand my feelings. But eventually he won't get it, that thing affected me badly. I faced serious problem that time and nobody could help me. Even after it ended, I got some troubles I caused myself to settle. So this's why I don't like the way he addressed me. It's way different from the way we addressed him.

Erghh, feel like apologizing but I don't wanna find him. His reaction tells me all, he's not anxious at all though I'm mad at what he said to me. Like what I said: I'll get the hell out of your life, I meant it... So the conclusion's my instinct about myself is always a failure. Erghh :( What will happen next I don't know. I just sense that our friendship had somehow came to a terrible bend, can it be fixed?? :S

WS :|

Erghhh =3=

13/5 (Fri)

Seriously I abandoned here quite long, I feel like writing something BUT I can't find the time :( Been busy trying to get used to my new phone, laptop and shopping for stuffs that I need to use in my university life. After I stopped the my previous job- waitress there, I don't even got time to rest like I've planned: efficient sleep and play  Erghh, thanks to my mum but luckily today's my last day :) SO no more accounting work for me anymore, I'm sick of rearranging resits and typing documents ==

After I changed my phone, I can't receive MMS and see the photos like last time. Need to solve that problem as soon as possible... Another problem's the music library thing: It can't read Chinese alphabets!! It shows strange symbols :C After I searched online then I knew it's a common problem some users of X8 faced also, but why I can't find any solution from the Sony Ericson's discussion wall page?! == So now gotta wait my brother come back to help me solve, 'cause those solutions from the web I don't really get it :S

And my laptop, it's same with SW!!! Such a coincident :S Should be making it more personal and private by now, but recently my mum's using it to online for fb game == Erghh, how am I gonna to transfer all my stuffs like musics and photos from desktop to there ahh?! I need to sleep early as I gotta work some more. But now I'm just glad my working life is finally ended.... I felt like fainting when my mum's colleague ask why I don't work until the day I start schooling?!

I think I'm gonna become SIAO if I continue to work there with insufficient sleep nearly everyday, as I need to online for gaming as well but the line nowadays = =## This somehow shows that accounts don't suit me, YUCKS :L Ohh ya, Form 6 has started!! I miss all my old school friends, but I'm not going there with them. As I dint plan to enter local university at the 1st place also. Can't meet them as frequent like last time, as sometimes not everyone is free. They're all changing as expected, even I'm changing too. My point of view definitely widens up with some working experience :)

Meeting my working friends, S and PJ tomorrow afternoon, a bit scare that I might be too tired to handle that outing :( LY, YY and PY can't attend also, thinking of changing the date but it's kinda complicated. YY, add oil in that damn place ahh!!! I think we'll hang out again soon *DON'T WORRY :)) I'll remember the wedding dinner we attended together, nw waiting for our photos to be uploaded. CW and P you 2 looked so handsome and pretty, thanks for everything!! Won't forget you guys, K and that JW with an irritating mouth XD

Still got lots to write but I really need to sleep by now, I can't promise when I'll come back here again but here's my place so I'll come back here for sure. Tata ;)

WS :D

Confused feelings...

2/5 (Mon)

Yesterday and a day before that, I went back my working place to help them work :) Well, nothing happened to me. Don't worry, I wasn't injure at all. 'Cause I dint bother that sucker at all, hahaha. It was not boring on the 1st day 'cause not boring lo~ Got a hell lot of customers to serve but with enough waiters, this's definitely a good thing you know :D

On the 2nd day, guess who I met?? I was panicked when I realized that person's you sitting there, as a customer. I remember I said I got the feel that I won't ever meet you again... Ohh great, my sense really proved me wrong this time :( And yet, I broke the promise I made to myself which says: I won't care things about you anymore. Maybe I shouldn't make you notice me, 'cause obviously you dint until I walked passed your table looking at you. :S You asked those things like you've noticing me all this while, I'm like don't know how to answer those questions. I need to stop a while then only can answer.

And I spent a few minutes talking with you, in a hectic hour as the restaurant's full of customers. In the end, you left there without bidding "Bye-bye" to me :( It was raining at that time, the customers couldn't sit outside, so maybe that's why you and your friends were forced to leave early... It's like what you should do, and I always wonder: Is this the way you treat me as your friend?? But that's totally fine to me already, I got my life to go on and so do you. Maybe this's destine on what will happen between us. Well, whatever @@

Today's such a nice day with an outing at Jusco with SM and MK. Finally this day had came, we've planned to meet since MK came out from NS. Blekk, MK's still that naughty but nice fellow I knew. Hope he could solve the distance thing with his girl. And glad to know that he's much more slimmer and a bit taller :) Then my dear SM, thanks for the Domo purse> I loved it!!! Maybe a little bit problem occured but I think her relationship thingy with JH is quite smooth. It's nice that her guy treats her so well. Hehee, wish both of my buddies good luck on their life. Heart them ♥

And the most important thing which happened just now, really made me happy and sad. 'Cause I finally bought a new phone. And so did my mum, gotta teach her how to use as well :)) *My dad's paying or the money's deducted out from my salary?! Well, I'll know that later :P A bit difficulties while using the new phone as I'm a Nokia user. My whole family use Nokia phone but now I'm using Sony Ericsson. Gotta use sometime to suit it's function. Ohh ya, the sad part's I gotta give my old phone to my dad 'cause his phone got a bit problem. Which mean> All the messages, data inside my old phone need to be deleted. A bit reluctant, but I have to :(

WS :)

Update :DD

26/4 (Tues)

Opsss, it's like weeks I dint write something here. I did stopped my previous job but now I'm helping my mum at her office now. Well, because my mum said I really need a healthier lifestyle like sleep early which I wouldn't do that while I was still working there. 'Cause I was using the time I'm at home to online but sadly morning I'm at my grandparents' house, so she wants my timetable to become normal again.

Sunday... It should be a splendid evening with 4 of my working friends at YE as we planned to have dinner there, but something not good happened still :( Don't know why that sucker which I don't really like, came to say hi to us..... Ohh please, don't spoil my mood and appetite. So I asked him to go away 'cause I don't wanna see him. And that night was okay with some photos and teasing jokes my male supervisors K and W made about me and him *hahaha, it's not funny at all ==

They treated each of us a single scoop ice-cream and a slice of cake, love them!! >< Back to the main topic, that sucker == Yesterday M called me with a shocking news which is, that sucker wanna hit me when I said something like that to him, and she specially sign in fb to know whether I'm asleep or not~ the childish K said it's not his fault and begged me to apologize him or that sucker?! Weird == Ermm... in my head, I just think he's so SENSELESS, 'cause the signal is so obvious>> I don't like you, no matter as a friend or other relationships. But I just don't think a blur guy like him could get it.

My mum was worried when she heard something like that, she scolded me for causing a hatred issue at my work place. At 1st, she was angry when she knew I said: I'm not afraid of getting involve in a fight, so if he dare to punch me he'll get it back!! I was furious that she don't support me at all. That freak is a weird guy, don't she understand why I did that to him?! :( But when my mum asked me: Are you afraid of getting hit since you're going back there this Saturday and Sunday?? I answered her NO *Obviously ;) 

She told me something so freaking true about the community nowadays and said the people are strange, they might do crazy stuffs if you provoke them. I understand she's worried about me for the future if I ever meet that sucker, I just promised her I won't hit a single person that day. I think she just hope my attitude would change some how.. Hmmm, whatever. I don't know what I'll encounter when I meet that sucker this coming Saturday.. May God bless me :S

WS :)

我还okayy :]

14/4 (Thurs)

来篇华语的吧~ 有些事用母语写会比较贴切 ;)
工作那里有几位人兄 真是有够过分的
他们就是"蛇"王1号和"蛇"王2号....
跟到他们一起做工 该算我三生有幸吧?!  :'(
以后若在某地方遇到他们 我肯定我是不会主动打招呼的!!!

1号来了整一个月 都还没入状况似的
最近有些新人来 他还好意思在那边自以为很厉害 show off
其实他连自己都搞不定 真是悲剧啊
就如M说的: 他每天都像个新人 @@
而他做过的SH事就别提了 因为实在是不少
最气人的是 他抹的碗碟讲了多少次 还是非常地不干
唉~ 总之说到他 就是无尽的失望 不要给我添麻烦就是了

2号呢 简直就是1号的翻版
我发觉 他和1号一样 吃东西最厉害罢了~
前几天他才把我给炸到 因为他连基本的几句英文都不会
还不知做么要我去帮他order 真是OMG =.=
铁定是 那个该死的1号跟他说过什么来
幸好2号的女友比他们好一些 人比较醒目
比较快上手 还时常帮她男友收拾惨剧
不过好心这样娘的男友 就飞了他吧
看见自己的女友的手拿满杯 还硬要塞东西给人家

所以平时 我跟他们没什么好话说
也幸好那个1号知道我们不喜欢他了 就是不知原因
活该 怪自己不醒目吧
还好多5天 我就要离开那里了 =3=
不然我忍不到他们的一天会来临
到时别怪我跟他们开战咯 :X


P/S: 刚刚看到你的relationship status又换了
我接受的来 只是距离上次好像没多久罢了
怎么酱快的?? 也对 我没资格过问
因为问题在于: 你还有把我当朋友吗??

An unwanted Incident :S

12/4 (Tues)

A bit bored, so feel like writing something here again :) Finally the hostel problem's solved, I'm so glad. Thanks to PL and her dad so much!! >< If not, I think the 3 of us (including SW) will be living at somewhere which we don't like and maybe expensive @@ Ohh my, speaking of her I was quite angry at the beginning. She booked me to share Beijing double sharing at the 1st place but when I got a cheaper price from private renting, she said she wants Beijing single room 'cause more privacy but still same floor with me. 

I was like WTH!! Don't book me at the 1st place la please :( Does she know that it sounded like abandoning?! Okay, that's fine. Though I'm not so pleased about that, but as a friend I'll still helped her asked about the things she want. And I asked PL if she wanna share a Beijing double room with me, since she haven't find her dream room. Then frankly I wasted a lot of money calling here and there, my phone expenses for this month more than rm60 lo :S

But we don't have much choice for private renting as the price are cheaper so those nice rooms are out!! So in the end, PL said why don't we go for Danish's Cambridge 'cause the price are quite similar and it's new. And my mum suggested that since we're still new, go for Danish is more better lo, if you wanna complaint also it'll be more convenient. I did called SW to inform her that, but she dint pick up my call. So I sent a text telling her our decision and stuff. She just replied she's having car lesson chat later, well I don't blame her. But why don't she find me after that?!

I don't wanna waste anymore money on calling, my parents would've kill me about the phone bill!! Lucky my mum said she forgave me T.T So I've been wanting to find her in fb chat since that day after I get home from work like usual, but it's strange that she's not online == I really felt that she's like not nervous about the hostel thing but I thought she should've understand my situation?! Finally I met her at there and told her the thing, but she's so lost and speechless because of my shocking news. So at that short time, she decided to have the smaller room but still same floor with us. 

Well that day PL called Danish there also not quite successful at the beginning. The Cambridge room we wanted is not available. And frankly I don't need room that big == When there's no choice, PL suggested to ask for Tsing Hua double room. As the price's quite okay, and indeed I can say we're so lucky that it's still available. Ohh yes, we booked a 1st floor double room successfully :DD But SW, I've abandoned her this time. PL tried her best to help her ask already, but there isn't any available same floor single room for her :S

To inform her again, I gotta called her and told her all those things that would let her more speechless. Ohh great, her phone's out of credit and she tole me: she ignored her friend that kept on inviting her to live together. Just because she thought I still want that private. So it's like I really abandoned her to solve the hostel thing herself and yea I think she's really angry at me. 'Cause she dint even reply my apologize wall post. Well I'm really so sorry for what happened, I hope she'll understand and that's all...

WS :|

With friends + Some thoughts....

8/4 (Fri)

Yesterday was SW's birthday, so we helped her to celebrate and the venue's at Parade again =3= Ohh yeah, the cake's a Mango Mouse Cake and it's nice but a bit too sweet. I bought her a pencil case and shared the money with PL. Hope she'll like the present :)) As we got nothing to do after we ate the cake, so we went to sing K as plan. I really think it's a good way to release my sadness, I enjoyed it though I'm quite tired @@

Unexpectedly when it's about time I left K-box, my mum called. She's coming to fetch me because of heavy rain, so WL who's going home by bus and the remaining there, accompanied me to the front door of parade. I took the chance and told her that "awesome" news that hurt me badly. She asked something about the girl, which I don't really know also. So I just answered her what I knew, and she asked me did I express it out to you?!

Ohh dear!! Don't tell me you don't know my feelings, 'cause I told you twice and I think it's quite obvious :S Is that possible that you think I'm joking?! Or is it like what another SW told me, you think I don't dare to love you. Or you've mistaken, 'cause I told myself I need you as I'm treating you as my rely...But it's so untrue, 'cause after SMZ you're the only 1....Ohh damnit!! Whatever it is, I need to stop all this stupid guessing in my head :(

Maybe this's what happened when I don't want to find you so frequent like before as I hate disappointments from you.... Then my mum arrived there, and I promised WL that I'll tell her the whole details on our next outings. *WL, I ♥ you!!! I remembered she said this to me: Maybe it's just friendship love between us. But I really can feel there's something between us, 'cause my feelings hardly ever wrong. Ohh goshh, now got 1 condition I'm quite afraid to face, that's meeting you with her somewhere. Haizzz, I really don't know how I'll react... FMY :(

I think I won't write about you in my blog anymore, well just in case. 'Cause I don't want unnecessary misunderstandings @@ I ought to accept the fact that you're not available and give up my feelings on you no matter how :| Now just let God decide what's left to me, or maybe He's telling me that single suits me most?! Frankly I don't know... :'(

To a friend: Your sudden decision really made me disappointed. What you did today made my opinion about you changed, please don't blame me :S

WS :|

It's gone!!

5/4 (Tue)

Knew something I don't think I wanna know at all: you're in a relationship, and yes that girl ain't me :( I can't cry, I just feel so damn down. I don't know what's wrong with me.... I already told myself to get over you but I don't think that happen successfully, 'cause sometimes you're in my mind somehow. Something in me chooses to remain waiting for you, and yet finally this's the answer I get.

What I seen just now just made my heart broken, yeah you did it. All this while I was the one thinking too much, and it serves me right huhh?? Just feel like every time I like someone, that someone won't belong to me in the end. My dear SM's right, ohh I knew it... PY, we're on the same boat now. Can I hug you and lets cry together??? :S

I'm not saying like I regretted liking you, I'm just superb upset that how can you treat me like this??? Why don't you reject me in the beginning, do you have any idea that it seems like hope to me??? I've been torturing all this while to wait for your answer, but all I get is endless disappointments. Till I don't dare to find you 'cause I hate disappointment especially from you. But I think I should know all this would happen earlier, you don't even spare out your precious time for me as a friend....

Maybe this's what you did that you want me to forget about this feelings..... I don't know, I'm so lost now. Once you're so meaningful for me, but now I don't think I got the courage to bother your life anymore. I won't find you in chat box anymore, I'll try not to view your profile, I would try to mention about you lesser, and the most important: I won't miss you anymore :'( I think it's fake so I won't bless you openly, but I'll bless you with her in my heart.

P/S: Thanks to some friends who knew what happened. And sorry that I bothered someone like Jess, I knew you're busy... I'm just so helpless that time :(

WS :'(

以为...

3/4 (日)

还以为今天早上 和父母去了UTAR问
我就能顺利地在金宝 过一年Foundation先
然后在那边认识一些志同道合的朋友 一起去PJ
修读我有兴趣读的Graphic Design
就跟我哥那时念他的course时的过程 超不多
可偏偏若要修读我要的那个course 连Foundation也要在PJ读 @@

他们以为我傻傻的 有事无事只会跟他们斗嘴吗??
那件伤人的事 我还是最早知道的那一位
或许说 大家都没有我那位好笑的朋友J 那么幸运吧
对 我们那班除了LY 全部薪水都是保持没变
我只是在装傻 不要说出来罢了
选择留在那边 纯粹是过下等着上大学的日子而已

我以为只要我对别人好 人家也会这样回报我
原来那个要套在好的对象 才有用的
其实人家心中都不知是感激 还是在笑我笨
而他们那不变又刻薄的说话方式 讲真我受够了
开玩笑也该有个程度吧?! 我好歹也是个小女生 :(
或许只能怪我的样子不讨喜 真是活受罪
_________________________________________________________________________

唉~ 除了看开点吧 都没有办法了
反正我已经心谈到下了决定 非要离开那边不可
偏心那件事 都已经把我忍得无话可说
本来还想做多几天 再跟他们说我做到4月尾就真的要停了
不过现在不必了 我觉得我应该离开了
在心里衷心地感谢他们对我的教导 和所做的一切的...

关于我的未来那一方面 我还在考虑着要换那一科
因为去PJ真的会很麻烦 那个campus又没有提供宿舍
交通也很乱水和不方便 毕竟我也不是很了解那一带罢了
加上没有朋友的陪伴一起去读 才是最关键的事
我不想我的父母为我担心 :S
我真的希望 我的决定 对我的未来有帮助

WS :S

Decision Time...

1/4 (Fri)

It's April Fool, but lucky I dint fool by any of my friends.. Blekk, try harder la next time :P Ohh ya, finally I've made the decision myself: I'm going to UTAR Kampar to study Foundation 1st then go to the PJ campus to study Graphic Design. The only choice I have and my parents can afford besides Form 6. Speaking of that, I just don't really like Form 6 don't know why. Even I study like hell there, the possibility of me to get the result I desire is quite LOW @@ To me, Form 6 is just so hard :S

Well, actually at 1st I wanna go to places like The One Academy, Lim Kok Wing University, Inti International College, etc because I'm studying Art. So I need to find somewhere which is nice in term of everything so my parents are not so worried. But those places are way expensive and a few days ago, I went to Sunway College Ipoh to ask for the course I'm interested at, of course with the accompany of my mum. ’Cause it's the closest place from my house. And well, that trip do let me know a lot of stuff.

Like those places I wanna go, usually provide diploma only, if you wanna top up to degree. Go overseas will be the only solution, I was like what?! My parents can't afford la #.# Even those places provide degree also, but can I apply student loan there?? That's a nice question, 'cause I'm from a normal family. And my result isn't good enough to apply any scholarship though. So going to UTAR's the only choice left, since the statements I mentioned above is provided there. :)

I'm going there this Sunday with my parents, to buy the application form and maybe finding a suitable room/house?! Now the hostel and living with who problem are making my head big :( Ergghh, I wish those nice room/house are still available for me. *Praying hard ><

P/S: The miracle I want won't happen, so I'm letting that feeling away. My next post might be about you....

WS :)

Whee :)

29/3 (Tue)

Hehehe, it's WL's birthday. So as plan, we went Parade to celebrate. Some cannot attend due to studying, working and so and so... *SM, miss you and we wish you're there >< I only managed to get a few friends coming after so many text I sent @@  Never mind, well at least the birthday girl said it's okay and I think she enjoyed her day :D Great to see those who are attended: MY, PL, JS, WT, SW and another MY, Munyi.

All together 8 person, so I bought a 1/2 kg cake for her. Then we could eat together and I don't know what she wanted, plus the cake's there is affordable. Well, I've forgotten the cake's name == Yet the cake's delicious, the chocolate flavour enrich with walnut I think?! I'm glad everyone like it, including me!! I think I'll go there to buy a slice or two of those cakes there to eat, shop name's Deli Garden.

Thanks to my mum and her colleague for giving me suggestion on where I should buy a cake for WL when the Secret Recipe at Syuen Hotel is closed today. Quite disappointed lo =3= PL's leaving early 'cause she needed to go for the car lesson, and JS went home early too. So left the six of us went to watch a movie :)) Due to the time, we choose to watch World Invasion.. Ermm, I think it's quite okay la~ Just a bit too long, I bought a drink and go inside drink *Rushing to the toilet when the movie ended, hahaa @@

Just realized I spent quite a lot today... That cake costs me rm24, then the movie ticket rm6 (thanks to my student card, enjoyed rm2 discount while purchasing the ticket ><) and drinks rm3.90. Almost rm34 lo, nearly the salary of me working for 2 days. Forgotten to request to divide the cake fees among them @@ Fine, mind these words: 讲钱伤感情 ahh~ So as least we're enjoyed, then that's enough :)

Only photo taken together ><

WS ;)

Confused *__*

26/3 (Sat)

Erghh, now confusing which college I should go~ Any scholarship from any association is willing to give scholarship to a 6A SPM holder??? So I really don't dare to apply also, hahaha == Thanks to all those elders who gave me "special gift" to congratulate me, frankly really too much (especially from my dear daddy ><) Tomorrow morning I'll follow SW to UTAR Kampar to ask for some information. Hahaha I knew there don't have the course I want, just going there to ask :)

This time you made me more confused. And I did some mistake at my working place too :( Erghhh, such an unpleasant day!!! Felt so sorry to that customer, I din't mean that at all :( I'm really dumbfounded by your status, I'm kinda lost control. I knew Jes was sicked when he heard this and wondered why I made the whole thing so so so complicated?! He said I should TRY to say out how I felt. Then in my mind's like: What if.....??? Zzzz, I can't do something like that if I'm not more than 70% sure..... I just knew it isn't me :|

Finally my dear SM replied my text, hope she's okay already. She said she knew what happened, but when will she tell me?? 'Cause I'll be quite busy, maybe couldn't meet her at fb chat... Fine, whatever.. treat it as I don't wanna know @@ Actually I really should let you out of my mind this time, I'm thinking too much already... And yet I don't want anything bad happen.

Sighh, ILY.... But I can't continue to let myself like this, it's torturing yet wasting time :L So either it's a YES or NO for me, staying blur and in the middle ain't what I wanted though.... Seriously, maybe I really need a new aim :S

WS :@

Move on!! :D

24/3 (Thurs)

Yesterday, 2010's Form 5 SPM candidates result day.... Damn nervous, and thank God that my result can consider okay :) At first I aimed for 7A, 'cause I want my name and face to be on the newspaper *Hahaa, I knew this thought's stupid but I like it :P Though I only got 1A less than my aim, but don't know why that stupid wish was fulfilled: my face's on today's newspaper!!! Reporters reached our school quite late == Those who got straight A waited for them so long, me with my gang waited for MY (and the reporters) so long @@

As some of the straight A students had left school. Teachers suggested letting those who are around to take photos, including me. I was quite embarrass when 1 of the reporters requested us to take the result slip at our hand and jump happily, I was like huhh?! *Frankly I think I should study harder and get better result == Another photo, we just clapped hand for the boy who got the best result in our school: KES. It was quite fake lo, lols. Fine, it's just a photo and yet I'm just a minor character in it. Hahaha, this's totally gifted by God. Thank him in my heart sincerely!! ♥

Then me, JY, MY and WL went to pay Steven a visit :) I miss him so much, and we talked a lot. I really appreciated for what he taught me and yet my result dint let him down :D My shoes are new and a bit stiff, damn it hurt the part near my heels~ Met BoyBoy with a friend when we reached the bus stop near the pasar, so I followed her by bus to Parade. Lucky I dint follow them to Omega, if not my legs will pain like hell *And I din't tuition there also XD Had a few minutes chat with my dear BoyBoy at Parade, seriously I was quite shocked that me and her could ever meet again.

She's leaving here after a few months, maybe going overseas. I knew the chances to meet her again is quite hard, 'cause she's always so busy. I wanted to tell her this badly: Leave some times for me and our Andajaya gang la!!! But if she really wanna meet us, she would asked the time we're free and try to plan an outing. So I won't do that and just let it be... Well, back to the topic... I re-met my gang at Parade with my dear CW and YL :D

We enjoyed a meal at Marry Brown, but me and YL bought food from Shilin and ate there with them. MY wasn't going to parade with us, WL went home early, and CW was at the saloon. So just left me, YL and JY walking here and there...and finally sat at the chairs in food court talking about a lots of stuff, shall I say that's gossip?? XD Erghh, actually I was quite disappointed that day. A bit about my result, mostly is about friends... 'Cause another gang was at jusco and another 1 went dating ==

I don't wanna say out the names 'cause who did it will know. The dating 1 wanna celebrate with her boy, this I can understand partly. She's going to KL this week, hope we'll hang out again as she has promised :S But another gang left school without saying anything, so where's the plan we've decided before this day??? Hmmphhh, I really dislike it lo... I got my rest that day to meet and have fun with you guys but why are we in different places "celebrating"?!.... So disappointed and sad, fine :(


P/S: My result proved that I'm not a Science material. All my Science subjects got B+ *Feel so sorry to my Science teachers T.T  Now thinking when should I let my Science tuition teachers know my result == Interior Design, which college I should study you??

WS :)

A few more days....

20/3 (Sun)

Nothing could best describe my feelings now, I'm superb nervous!!! 'Cause my future really depends on that sheet of paper. If not, I don't know where I'll be.. I fell so lost every time when someone mention about going where to study?? I can't really answer them, 'cause I don't know :( The course I'm interested to further study is nothing related to Science, which is Interior Design.

Exclude all the unhappy issues that happened, I'm still very fed up about the course thing. Because high chances that I might end up studying something I don't like. My result in class ain't nice, I'm a little regret that why I didn't choose Art stream at the 1st place. But I dislike economic, so Science stream's still the better choice for me. But when I reached Form 5, superb regret 'cause my result's terrible in 1 exam: nearly bottom ranked!! That really effect me badly, my worst ranking and result ever!!!

And my trial ain't that nice also, with my brother studying at KL. It's nearly impossible that I'll go KL study my course, though the university/college there are really more standard. Plus I didn't submit anything at all while schooling, 'cause I know: with my result, I get nothing. Don't waste time!! == And my parents wanted me to study somewhere near them, 'cause they're worried about me. Goshh, I think they kinda hope I would go to Form 6?!

Haizzz, I really don't know what's left with me??? :S Just wish me luck okay, the rest just let God decide. Though I'm not so in the religious thingy, but I still believe there's a God that would help those needy in this universe :)

P/S: I'm like giving another chance for you?! Idk, will you notice it?? Idk either, when we'll meet?? :P

WS :|

Spectacular day :D

16/3 (Wed)

Weeee, I went hang out with my dear SM today. We met at parade, 'cause my condition is so so so not good. To meet SM, I offered my mum to wait at her office and then when it's about time I walked there. If not, I might pass my rest today like usual: eat+sleep+read+online == Well, we planned to meet there at 12pm and my mum with tons of works wanna go home at 7pm. So in my mind: I need to walk at the same place more than 6 hours, I rather walk back to her office when it's about 5pm.

That single day, I think I walked more than the usual day I walked when I was working, hahaha == But I glad I choose to meet SM today, I really miss her badly. Though my legs are tired and 2 of my toe nails are like... *argghhh I'll just skip it, long story and I hate them :S  Like old times we talked non-stop, hehehe >< Just the both of us, 'cause I can't answer her when she asked me can I go out at the 1st place.

I wish our Andajaya gang were there badly!! I wanna pinch my dear smelly NJY's face badly, she's such a cutie!!! And I wanna talk with PL, WT, WL and of course my dear BoyBoy ahh!!! So since I haven't eat my lunch, we ate and drank stuff together, then talked about any topics we wanna tell each other. I'm so sure: She's definitely one of my besties that won't change by time and distance, hahaha :) I ♥ HER so much ><

Well, she and the JH issue.. Ermm, I hope she does something right about it. I told her already: I'll support whatever decision she made. Hahaa, she became so famous at her campsite and among my school mates because of that. Like she should be, 'cause we're like that kind of people that mix around and knew a lot of friends. Well, of course she knew more people than I do. :D

P/S: SM was right, you're like out of touch with us after SPM. Now you're back from NS, the situation's same also. Frankly I don't know why you are busy again??? Errghh, the yumcha plan was postponed from December till now... Can I hate you?? :(

WS :P

Disappointed...

14/3(Mon)

Arghh!! I'm superb disappointed. Finally I got my rest per week on that day, Wednesday- they plan to hang out at JJ as those NS friends have came out. But you said: Why you must go out and play when you got your break?? Can't you stay home and rest?! I wanna meet my friends badly, it's been months I din't meet them but what you said just now like disapproving me going out to have some fun. They're my buddies from school, not working friends I just met on Sunday!!!

And you, wanted me to ask for his permission 'cause you said we won't listen to what you say. I just wonder: What I did that made you angry today??? Hello, I got a nice plan that won't bother your working time.. But did you hear that 1st before you said those words?? I go there by bus, then you come to fetch me about the time you finish your work. And you're right that I'm mad that you sort of no agree me to go out. :(

Even I don't really know which bus and where I could board that bus, but I could ask someone who know it and learn to be independent. I know some parts in me just wish that I can borrow my mum's car, and then attend the outing as I wanted. Just I need to fetch her when she finish her work, but the sad part's: after I got my licence, I din't even touch my parents' cars steering before :S  My recent fb status maybe will let those who see it or comment on it, think I'm selfish. Maybe I am, so just say it- I won't mind :(

Fine, I rejected my friend finally. The both of you just want me to stay home and be a nerdy isn't it?? Hang out was prohibited during my secondary school life, and now you don't allow me to do so. I always say I would hang out as I wanted after SPM, but I din't do so. 'Cause I got work and I'm trying to not bother the both of you that much, and be more considerate yet doing things I wanna do. 家家有本难念的经> suddenly I feel it was so suitable to use to describe my situation....

WS :(

Bored ==

12/3(Sat)

Today's raining during dinner time, but there's still a lot of customers coming my shop to have a meal. There's insufficient workers at there, so the result's we're all very x10000 busy. Even P as the cashier also need to come out and help us served @@ So W wants me to ask YY and PY if they could come back to help during weekends. Just now I did something insane again, I told them: I might stay till Mid of April if my situation allow me to *Blaming myself again 'cause obviously my sympathy is haunting. Haizz, I'm idiot right?? :(

Seriously, I'm curious that why so less people come there to ask for job??? And today was damn busy until I did quite some mistakes, hoping those customers won't blame me. 'Cause I really din't mind it, a thousand apologies from me sincerely =3= Meet Banana with her bf today, they said they came to visit me X) They're so sweet, I'm envious. Speaking of that newbie, he's at my shop for more than 7 days. But I still think he's blur and not very alert, wondering when he'll start to order. ==

Besides working, I'm superb bored at home. Wanna hang out with friends so much, but opsss they want to meet at Jusco for movie?! My mum don't wanna fetch me till that far, her office's in town. So due to no transport, I usually reject 'cause I can't attend at all. It's like no difference even when I got my rest per week, like last week I just stayed home and did these stuff: sleep, eat and read books + newspapers == Feel so out of touch with my buddies, but what I can do??? :S


P/S: For what I've seen just now, I knew my waiting for you is pointless. You don't care at all, maybe my heart is thorning but it's okay... So like what I told myself, I should start to get over you no matter what right???

WS ='|

This's nothing....

10/3 (Thursday)

I'm very unhappy right now. I'm not sure what made my mood into this, probably what J said. 'Cause he saw A's hands on my shoulder, so he said: Owhh, finally I know why you hate guys!!! *I can assure you, he's so wrong about it == Then before 11.30pm, I stood there seeing C went home early again. Hell, why always so unfair???

What J said should cause nothing to me, and that C going home early, I usually could bare it 'cause she's about to leave. But this time I can't, I just felt awfully terrible. A lot of unhappy memories flashed back my minds, how can I be smiling?? Well J said I hate guys, he really don't understand me at all. So just be it 'cause he don't have to. And hello, I just hate some of them, with suck mouth + attitude. Especially those who think they're so cool or handsome but eventually they're just looked normal. Yucksss, I think it's irritating!!!

The C going back home at an early time issue, made me thought of something not fair that happened to me in school. When I was a trainee prefect in afternoon session, I don't know why my leader and group leader treated me like they don't care?! *Even my performance isn't nice, you're so wrong in doing that!! 'Cause when I become a senior myself, I'm so damn sure I won't be that concentrated in my duties anymore. Thanks to your guys. Hmmpph, and things like that happened again in morning session: I still remember my 1st TL so partial about some of his members, that he treated me like he don't care.

Actually I'm a bit regret that I din't quit prefect in my morning session, but for the Coco marks I stayed. Days in there made me aware how dark the society is even before I stop schooling. Well, blame who?! Whatever, I would dislike those suckers always. Days in girl guide was not easy though, I don't wanna mention it. Maybe that time they're still naive but what they did that hurt me, I would definitely remember. Not that I wanted to, just those issues let me can't treat them like nice friend anymore :(

Those ugly past, I should just ignore it always. But now it made me so helpless, 'cause those lessons I learnt there are not enough. The world outside is even worser than I thought. Fine, the only reason I can tell myself is: I don't look that favourable in their view. Haizz, and that means I don't have the so-called "good" look to survive at all. Is that so important??? :(

P/S: What's left to me after fourteen more days??? I can't imagine :S

WS :'(

Not my day :(

6/3 (Sun)

Should be learning to drive my mum's car by now, with my dad by my side *assisting... But my mum said the weather is quite hot, and my dad's reading his newspaper + watching TV program right now. Lucky I din't go out, 'cause I'm like sweating in my room @@ So I just switch on my pc and come here to write something. I gotta write 'cause my mood ain't right :(

Thanks to Jeffrey, I knew a freaking ugly truth. His salary increases, so did the Thai guy who has left. They're working at the branch shop, but I did remember my supervisors told me this when they hired me: 2nd month onwards your salary "might" increase, so the branch thing isn't an excuse at all. Well the fact's my salary per hour's still the same, and after hearing that thing: I wonder is it my performance not well enough?? But all my dear YE-4 members who've left also the same with me, so am I thinking too much??? =3=

Crap!! Now I did wished he din't tell me, at least won't infect me so badly... Maybe to you guys, it's the matter of money. But to me, it's the matter of fair / not fair. They allow C to go home early when there's not much people working there. Exclude all those things I dislike about her, I just don't get it and I won't. Hell I just felt like I was being cheated, I wanna leave as fast as I could= the end of this month as I promised them. :'(

P/S: sui ren, don't think negatively. That's not you!!! *Waiting ><

WS X(

离别...

1/3 (二)

好久没写华语, 现在就来篇华语的吧 :P
昨天28/2 是LY, YY和PY在那工作的最后一天...
好不舍得.. 但这是她们的选择, 我只能看着她们走...
YY没人载她回家, 没工作这段时间在家专心做ELF *不如你就去找份工做吧 XD
而PY的美容课程就来开始了~ *以后洗面来找你 ><

LY呢, 离开莫非是为了自己的前途好.. *祝你早日找到你要的工作!!

星期一大家一起去老地方吃一餐, 当作是farewell吧~
那边的东西不错咯~ 不过有算tax, 就好像贵了点...

某人自荐帮我们拍的.. 嘻嘻, 我会很想你们的 ;)

你们没来之前我也都这样挨过.. 所以放心LY, 我会好好的 :)
你们3个都给我加油啊!!! 得空记得约我出来见面 :D

对了, 没有错的话: 阿雯也走了, 以后那1个月会闷死了 =3=
Annie好像也快离开了... Yin Yee这个拜四也要走了..
幸好拜五有2个新人来~ 期待-ing... 至少工作也不会那么闷啦 :)
现在YE-4剩下我一个在那边罢了咯, 没了她们就是不一样~


P/S: 写着写着到了半夜, 是你的生日 ><
你都还在当兵, 出来才过你要的18岁吧...
不多写了, 礼物别想跟我要.. 你欠我很多东西!!! :P
I think ISLY, no doubt.. but how about you?? :)

Ahhhh!!!! :O

27/2 (Sun)

I think I've just been through the baddest day in my life- YESTERDAY... Yes, it's should be a normal Saturday with work but special a bit 'cause I've just have a hair cut. Don't worry I'm not making it shorter, just "trim" a bit so the hair volume's lesser and not that hot. I'll need to gather more people's comments then decide my next hair style :)

Yesterday, I was quite blur while working but Saturday at my shop, the customers are way more than weekdays. Well, lack of sleep?! That's the only answer I get: Slept at a late time, then went to breakfast with my mum, after that went home re-slept again. Hahaha, that's me == So when there's a cup of hot cappuccino in front of me due to wrong order, I drank it without 2nd thoughts. Hoping it would make me more energetic to cope with those customers, and yeah it did. But it's so effective, I don't really felt sleepy the whole night till midnight, but I still switched off my pc at that usual time and went to bed.

I usually go to dreamland quite very soon, but it's different this time. No matter how hard I tried, I can't sleep. And I don't know why... But at last, I figured it out: It must be that damn cup of hot cappuccino I drank last night!!! Ohh my Gosh, I even drank it after 9pm and I usually don't drink coffee except some important exam days. No wonder I can't sleep @@ I think I went to dreamland a while but that time my mum already woke me up for breakfast. And lucky she did, 'cause in my dream- that's a typical-not-cool guy wants to know me but the way he talks just made me "Ewww!!".. Superb glad it was just a dream... So after this post, I really need to go to bed =3=

Speaking of work, mostly all the friends I knew at my work place are leaving faster than me. Some are leaving before March, some right after the SPM results are out. So what am I suppose to do?? 'Cause I don't know what course I'm allowed to take, the course thing I don't wanna say anymore, made me fed up. Plus if I quit my job same as them, what if I'm not going to university or college that fast?! Or maybe I wanna study Form 6?? *Life without work's boring you know == So this thing made me damn confused :( And I'll miss YE-4 badly, as 2 members are leaving after tomorrow that's their last day. Another 1 is leaving soon as she found a more suitable job, I think. Sad but nothing much I can do, I just don't feel like facing a whole new surrounding again :S

WS :(

Sort of Diary~

124/2 (Thurs)

Feeling a bit moody today, so that's what brought me here. Here I'm, writing anything I like to make me feel better. I think maybe I did something wrong this time, some photos I saw, made me feel like she din't treat me as 1 of her bff. Hell I hate that feel. Oh craps, anyone please tell me I was thinking too much?! :X

Enjoyed text-ing with PX today, I miss her so much!!! We talked about twilight today, 'cause I asked her what she's doing recently besides driving lesson. She read till the last book already, but I'm still stopped at the 2nd book. Last year was Form 5, so there isn't much time for me to read == Damn I missed our Twilight moments together: SY's dad slept in the cinema part would always be a joke between us, New Moon's too boring for him huhh >< Last time sing k failed to date them out..... Wished I could yumcha with them and CW, PL, YX and YL soon :P

I found out I don't always visit your fb account like last time, though IMY but I knew you won't be updating your status that frequent. I wanna comment on your status or just post something on your wall, but something in me stop me from doing that. *I hate getting no reply from you!!! Sometimes wondering will you miss me, lols, I'm dreaming too much @@ Well, I won't deny that's an available cute guy that I might fall for him. Frankly I really can't like him, NO way. I'm waiting for someone else, ain't him 'cause I think he's just a good heterosexual friend :S

WS :|

3 days in a row :P

23/2 (Wed)

Finally I come back to update my blog. Last week was quite busy. This time I got lots of stuff to express, so must quickly finish my post and go to bed :)

Monday- Went KL by train to find my brother, and then shopping. Met Vix my kai gor at the train station, thought I'll get a HI from him but he said he got nothing to say to me 'cause he thinks it's awkward. Well, maybe less contact with him or he din't even treat me his as kai mui anymore :S Haizz, fine. My brother brought us to Pavilion this time, as we went to Sunway Pyramid, KLCC and Midvalley before. After coming out from Pavilion with something on our hands, it's lunch time.

Heritage Food Village 十号胡同

I purposely upload a photo I took to show you guys. The food there was superb. Loved it, but the price's way expensive too. Then we went in the Isetan shopping centre which is just besides the food court. Then we left and went in a shop named Uniqlo, those staffs're very polite :) Hahaha, and I've took quite a lot of scenery photos as well.

Tuesday- Got my annual leave starting that day, so I went to Parade K-Box to sing k with all my lovely friends. Pissed by someone 'cause she's changing the plan we decided at the 1st place. Really dislike lo, but at least I enjoyed the process. Taken a lot of photos too, they all uploaded already EXCEPT me. I wanted to edit and upload a.s.a.p but I don't always got the chance to use my computer, thanks to my mum and fb == As I started to aware how serious my dark circles is, means I gotta sleep early starting now. Goshhh, those photos have to wait I got mood 1st lo, sorry guys :|

Wednesday- About midnight la 'cause morning till afternoon I'm sleeping like hell at home.Yes, I purposely created a skype account to chat with a friend. To him, really thank you for letting me know the real story: Why that relationship end?? And as I promised I won't let everything out. Just I'm damn impressed by him, he loved that girl so much. I won't let go a guy that loves me with no condition. Though I knew that girl but I don't know what she really wanted??? And did she know something she do hurt him that much??? Well, IF they ever be together again, I'll support *yea, I do mean it :)

WS's here. X)

Strange?!

18/2 (Fri)

I got my rest yesterday, since WL wanna returned RM12 to me, so we decided to meet in Parade. (Long story about that money, so I'll just skip it = =) Failed to ask WH out 'cause she's dating >< And WT waited us at parade front door only, 'cause she's going back to Singapore, will miss her badly. *I missed today's sing K plan with PY and KY, haizzz next time don't forget me yaa!!!

During night time, I went to boss's house with my gang of working friends. Lucky LY's phone call woke me up, if not I won't be attending lo. Feel like meeting those two but they weren't going, fine lo then. But don't need to sorry la, Jeffrey No Ong :P Boss and his wife have an adorable doggie that caught our attention, hahaha damn miss her XD Then we ate, drank coke/100 plus and yeah we took photos. I should've try the alcoholic drinks over there, though I might drunk C: Don't worry, I'll upload those photos a.s.a.p :D

 I followed W's car home and the police stopped the car, asked to see all of our I/Cs. Quite extreme indeed, but actually what do them expect la??? =.= In the end, I reached home at 3am+ and I thought she would scold me, 'cause she said she'll wait, not allowing me to take the keys out and that means she must be awake to open the door for me. I'm so sorry for what happened but at least I don't have to argue with her, 'cause she's just very pissed at me. Now waiting her anger to go off :|

Just now I signed in my FB account then I viewed the home page and saw my dear WH broke with her OZZ?! I saw them dating in parade yesterday lehh, how could this happen that fast?! Though I'll always support her but I really hoped that she did made the right decision, and cheer up too :) And few days ago, I dreamed about him. It wasn't a nightmare, just some sort of crazy dream I usually won't have. Pass through Parkson with some hope to see him, but he wasn't there. I don't like him I'm just worry @@

WS :D

It's Valentine?! ==

14/2 (Tue)

Today's Valentine Day, and to me it should be nothing special... But the shop's full with a lot of couples and people, celebrating their sweet with a lot of waiting Valentine there. Frankly, I'm so damn jealous but sadly I gotta work. We're working like hell, serving here, cleaning the tables there... Those people who came late are like observing those customers who are about to leave, just to get that table and sit down. I'll do that if I were them, hahaha. Some customers are quiet impatient lo, well can't you see all of us are busy?!

Because of the Valentine set, the mushroom soup bowl's always not enough. I carried as many dirty plates and bowls to the washing spot as possible, just to save time. Lucky I din't break anything, lols. Damn tired I was when it's 10pm+ (and I got the feeling that time passed extremely slow today). With no food and less water in my stomach, I can feel my hands were aching while I served dishes to the customers, and yes I'm not kidding. So I told myself: I won't ever wanna celebrate Valentine like this again!!!! *if I can choose ==

And days before that, I made a Valentine card for my supervisors, P and W 'cause they're couple and they're getting marry soon :) *ishhh, just remember that I din't take a photo of my creation. Well, this year I get a zero for Valentine again. Although something in me is hoping to get some surprise, but no boyfriend, no admirer and with a normal look, so for damn sure there won't be any surprise for me. Haizzz, waiting, waiting and still waiting... Mr. Right where are you?? :S

WS  :|

YOU

10/2 (Thurs)

You, knew you a few years ago. I don't know how to describe our relationship. Something more or just buddies, actually I'm not so sure. Just when we're together, we chat and gossip about anything. Yeah, even we and the gang planned to study in the library, we still can make a lot of noise and laughters. Hahaha, damn miss that moment X)

What you did and said always succeed in making me mad, and I wonder why you sometimes choose to ignore my text/message though you know I don't like it when there's no reply from you. It'll make me think a lot, and I don't like that miserable feel at all. I know you're damn busy sometimes, but are you that busy until you don't have time to reply me at your chat box telling me: "I'm busy, chat with you later okay??"

My best friends often told me I deserved better, but frankly do I?? Back to last December, remember what I told you??? I was waiting a proper answer, don't show me hint that I don't get it. Don't keep me waiting like an idiot, I might leave. I really meant everything I said. Those status in fb was always for you, don't you get it??? SMZ was nothing compare to you, he's cute but he's a bit mean. *Just realize that cute guys might have a black heart though :(

I really appreciated your help every time when I needed it damn much, your advises are always helpful at that moment. But all this waiting gotta end some how, I can't torture myself like that for something that won't belong to me. ILY, and I never lie to my own feelings. Maybe I'm not the one you're looking for, but to me you always will be that special someone. :)

WS :')

Hmmmm...

8/2 (Tue)

Yesterday me, YY n PY did something "great", we told our supervisors something we dislike about C. Her attitude's like so arrogant and damn lc, sometimes really beh tahan her @@ But that's not the mean point, 'cause what we're anxious to know is: like most of us leave there at 12am+, why she can leave at 11pm+?! Her dad need to sleep, my dad don't need to is it??? It's like so unfair, and she's like choosing things to do sometimes :S

Thought that today we could see something happen, like our effort of complaining paid off a bit la. Unfortunately NO at all, kinda disappointed lo~ Well, maybe K wasn't paying attention that time, but P n W were there listening. I don't want it but the unlikeness of her just sort of increase lo~ Frankly, does she know that the way she talk is quite irritating??? :(

Finally our shop's about back to normal, not much people during weekdays. Just glad that I'm working in a place where I get to earn money, gain life experience and the most important is getting to know some cute and funny friends.. I just wonder will I stay there until I finally start my college/university life??? :P

from WS. X)

I'm still the sensitive me :S

6/2 (Sun)

Finally tomorrow no need to go to work at 4pm, this's something very nice!!!! But, my mood's spoiled... Actually today should be great or normal like usual, but it wasn't.. Out of my expection though....

There were a table of 8/9 non-local customers just now, I was unlucky to get called by them... or shall I say: they're unlucky to have me serving them?! This, that and blah blah blah all in chinese... Hell they made me so confused, lucky K helped me to list down the order... BUT in the end I still missed 1 order, and I'm a bit guilty 'cause I'm like din't serve them well enough = =

Before that, P and the workers at the bar mistaken my handwriting... My 2 looked like 0 at that sheet of order paper... I know my handwriting's in the sloppy category, but it ain't UGLY!!!! I was damn sad to hear that 'cause no friends/teachers ever said that my handwriting's hard to see lo~ Some closed friends of mine just said it was special... Fine, it's still my bad and I would definitely try to write nicely to avoid any mistake. :(

And that C really drives my patience to the limit!!! While I was cracking my head preparing the dinner set for that non-local table, she said something like: I covered your mistake just now, don't do any mistake again. Shit la, don't say like you din't do any mistake before. Not that I've preconception on her, just she did something that ignite the unlikeness of her in me... It's just so unfair that she's like getting better treatment than most of us.....

Well, the last thing happened to spoil my mood is: Thinking that I won't be able to meet any of my friends this CNY, not even a single outing... all plans VANISHED in the end!!! The yumcha with tuition gang that we planned last December is ruined!!!! Tomorrow because of no transport and my mum's busy, I can't go to PL's house to see all my lovely friends also.. No yumcha, no hang out, nothing at all but WORK... Haizzz, sleep would help my mood become better huhh?? :'(

WS X(