Shocked :X

28/6 (Tues)

I'm not paying full attention to my study again, and a small Maths test is on tomorrow. Ishhh, I'm in front of my laptop as usual. Looking at my lecture and tutorial notes while I online and gaming == 'Cause my mind's influenced by a small but shocked news I knew just now :S Ohh my, I wish it isn't true and SERIOUSLY I really can't accept it lo :X

I sensed it would happen after a casual outing but I was shocked that it really did. OMG, I know all this dint happen in a sudden lo please. Erghh, I'm so disappointed and so damn freaked out by it :( Though I'm sure I don't have much feel on that fellow anymore. But to me, it's like a hilarious joke that happens to me, like always. Every time I confirm that person can be my new aim, but then that guy will eventually do something.. Stuff that will make me wonder, moody, wonder again then finally disappointed with a decision inside my heart, that's give up.

I really dislike this sort of feel. It's suck, I've to accept this fact, control my feeling+emotion well and the hardest part: act like "That's just fine to me, I'm okay with it". But my condition really is still not good, but I've say okay to them and to myself. Like nothing big or shall I say "hurtful" happen before?! So in the end, I'm the one who encounter heartache, lucky me huhh?? No one will pity me at all, no one :S

From last year till now, I had this kind of feel for more than twice or more. I'm locking my heart up, yes I am and I should. I had enough already, I need nothing but time to recover. Maybe lonely's best with me, like it did in the last few years. Well, I'm glad that my sense's still correct when it's about other people *except me == I'm so right about saying that thing about him. 'Cause the thing I suspect's currently in the process already, which really freak me out. But I still wish them the best. I'm just doing my part as a friend, that's all...

P/S: Something's wrong, he's denying that he's in a relationship. And I'm wondering who's lying to me now, it's just so hard to guess.

WS :')