........

12/9 (Mon)

Yea, before you end the chat tonight you said you're going to block me. Thanks to myself but I think I removed you as friend before you did that *Whatever == Maybe the most correct thing you ever did in life is, DUMP me and/or don't keep in touch with me... This action you made just showed me that how mean I'm to you, how not satisfy you are with me, etc... So tell me, the conclusion is I'm the fault we'll end up like this isn't it?? All this's just so great :')

I'll always remember this's the way you want me back... What happened before, during and after my examination week I don't want to say. It all will happen because of me, thank you! Well about my grades thingy, I can only say: I really don't expect myself to score nice :C Maybe I deserved all this, hahaha. Before that, you finally "willingly" gave me the time I want to think and decide with no more forcing. What's with the rush I don't understand?!

I've tried to change for you but what I get?! I still sense disappointment from you. It feels like I din't pay any effort at all in getting back you. Never mind, you've already blocked me. In your last fb chat with me, you said you're giving me eternal time to consider, means I don't have to consider at all. Terrific! Move on like you always wanted to, I'm just an obstacle in your life. Have already stopped you not intently for a few times, so now I won't and shouldn't be the reason you stay here like an idiot for me anymore.

Thanks for everything you gifted to me, the time, the presents, those worries and more. I don't think you'll wanna see this either, hahahaa. I don't suit you as I'm undeserved, thanks for being that tolerable to a mean girl like me. Being with you is not wrong, kinda the matter of time?! Or maybe I shouldn't agree to be with you at the 1st place, lols :')

P/S: My dark circles and eye bags are getting more and more serious, haizzz :S

WS ;C

:(

1/9 (Thurs)

I felt like crying but I can't, I'm tired of hiding my sad feelings but I really can't do anything but to pretend that I'm okay. I'm currently in my Ipoh home so that's why. Had the last outing this afternoon before I have my exam next week, not that enjoyable because mood was spoiled *thanks to him :S And the Cantonese movie I watched with them was funny, kinda likey. Wonder when can I see them again especially those who are studying in other places, just felt sorry that they have to see me in trouble and moody like this.

I wonder why he can't wait till both of our emotion is more stable then settle our problem?! I really don't want to end like this and I'm afraid that I might regret. I need time freaking badly but he just insist on ending this thingy with me. Okay, just be it. I knew there's nothing else I can do to make him change his mind anymore. I really have no idea why my digi number so fast out of credit, he don't believe. Fine :( I just knew I'm so gonna get scold again this month when the coming phone bill arrived. I always hope I'm using prepaid but I'm not...

I'm freaking sad and angry that time after I viewed the fb message he sent me.. So just admit it: I'm mean, selfish and suck. All this make me a bad gf wanting her bf to wait and wait and wait like an idiot. Go ahead, please hate me!! Frankly, I really don't know what I really wanted at this moment. Why he has to be that rush?! Fine, it's not important anymore. He's mad and he said no more friend from now on. He wished it that way so I granted him. Okay, so I removed him from my fb friend list..

How can I forget that I'm freaking mad just now, I need to control my tears as I'm at my dining hall online-ing. Haizz, I just hope I won't regret even though I know I would some how. This's what I deserved, finally a "happy" the end. Great! A simple yet loving relationship that I once wished to have, the hope in me is gone. I'm so so so moody, I need to start studying though the study mood's not there. I just got strong feel that my final exam might get screw some how :(

WS :'(