Okay, my 1st ever post in 2012, I really abandon here too long. Sorry bloggie :S But this time I just want to express my feelings, even though I stop blogging because I don't want to effect others' mood. I'm just way too pessimist :(
I'm already a degree students right now, sem 3 *foundation's last sem was a disaster @@ I'm having a very bad lifestyle starting from end of May, my meal and slumber are all in mess. It's hard for me to find friends to accompany me for dinner 'cause everyone has different timetable so it's kinda like hard to match? Well, degree wasn't a total nightmare but it sure did taught me a lot of stuff. Especially every paid off doesn't mean you're going to get what you have been expecting. I thought making new friends is suppose to be like what I've in mind, but I was wrong.
I have wondered why am I excluded all the times, start from the Ipoh trip to the last farewell thingy which really made me cried like a SH, there is really no excuse I can make for them to not involve me. I think I've had enough, it's just the matter of intention. I should have known that they don't even count me as a member in their gang, all those helps I offered, all the conversations we have are like nothing to them. I even get criticised by one of them through fb status. So is just like I'm a brainless freak that did all those stuffs to get myself abandoned, and that makes me the loser in the end. Next sem would be better?! I don't know :(
About my love life, I really don't know how to maintain it anymore. It's just like I'm the one wasting time, whatever efforts I gave wasn't good enough, I'm doing noting right but making matters worse and what else?? I'm seriously done with all those teasing and requests I need to fulfil, but there's nothing I can do about it. Isn't coupling suppose to be happy?? Maybe that's what suck attitude (me) deserved. I'm really tired and helpless, I don't know what's wrong with our relationship. I'm already trying my best to give it all but can it really last?? I just know the habit of late-sleeping is going to last...
ws :'(
